Do you remember the various cartoons and comics where the character has a choice between good and evil? The one I think of immediately is Snowy of Tintin who had a choice between delivering a note and eating a bone in Tintin in Tibet and the angel (Snowy in a blue dress with a halo) urges him to stick with the note and the devil (red Snowy with a tail and pitchfork) belives the bone is the right choice.
That was just an illustration of the choice one often faces. Personally I've been blithering a bit as well. Things with SO were going only ok and I was not very amused. I wasn't sure when I was ever going to see him again or if I'd want to see him after a while. In short, I was drifting.
This Monday I typed a long and traumatised post that showed me that I was behaving badly in resenting SO for not being able to meet me, but he genuinely wasn't able. That kinda also made me feel a bit drifty. Then there seemed to be a bit of attention from another dude... didn't help.
Then on Tuesday SO announced that he'd come to see me this weekend!! :) Yippee!!! There you have it ladies and gentlemen, the devil with the pitchfork making me drift and the angel showing me the other option.
Guess which one I'm going to pick? :) Saturday!!!!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Squarky
In the past week, last friday to be precise, I acquired a little blue and white teddy bear. Unfortunately it had nothing to do with SO... but I digress. The point is that it's a remarkably comforting thing to have around. A squisy little thing that looks at you adoringly all the time. Kinda like my poor little ex-dog. He lived a long life, but I still wonder why it had to end. Again though, I digress.
SO's got exams currently and believes that he's going to take a beating. His thoughts run along the lines of putting his fists up and getting prepared to take a beating. Weirdly, when I read that, my primary urge is to place myself between him and anything and anybody who wants to beat him. Kinda 'over my dead body'. Unfortunately, these are exams and though I'd like to be able to help, there's absolutely no way I can do that.
Such is life I guess. Wonder whom I wouldn't throw myself in front of a car/bus for... Once SO and I had a discussion about love - on how some people's definition of it is how you'd give your life up for the object of your affection. There are, though, several people who'd give up their lives for anybody, random strangers even. So where does that leave us? Trying to decide whom I wouldn't give up my life for...... Again, this can't be some random list of people like Ted Bundy, or closer to home the random Indian high caste men who believe that all women are theirs to abuse. I shall cogitate upon this.
And in the mean time... over my dead body!!
SO's got exams currently and believes that he's going to take a beating. His thoughts run along the lines of putting his fists up and getting prepared to take a beating. Weirdly, when I read that, my primary urge is to place myself between him and anything and anybody who wants to beat him. Kinda 'over my dead body'. Unfortunately, these are exams and though I'd like to be able to help, there's absolutely no way I can do that.
Such is life I guess. Wonder whom I wouldn't throw myself in front of a car/bus for... Once SO and I had a discussion about love - on how some people's definition of it is how you'd give your life up for the object of your affection. There are, though, several people who'd give up their lives for anybody, random strangers even. So where does that leave us? Trying to decide whom I wouldn't give up my life for...... Again, this can't be some random list of people like Ted Bundy, or closer to home the random Indian high caste men who believe that all women are theirs to abuse. I shall cogitate upon this.
And in the mean time... over my dead body!!
Monday, September 19, 2005
Yes!!
I've been blogspammed! I've arrived!! :) It's a bit weird that they chose to spam the post that was about SO. I kinda hoped it was him but... this is fine as well, for now.
Quiz War
SO did a bunch of quizzes... so I'm doing them too...
I cheated on this one.
What? Below Average??
Me? A loner? MFEO?
| You're an Expert Kisser |
 |
I cheated on this one.
| How You Are In Love |
 You give and take equally in relationships. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
| You Are 26 Years Old |
 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
| B |
 |
What? Below Average??
| Your IQ Is 115 |
 Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Average |
Me? A loner? MFEO?
 | You scored as Loner.
What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com |
Sunday, September 18, 2005
He's Back!!
SO had a blog. SO left his blog and now he's back. Its some sort of update on his life in addition to what he tells me on the phone. I miss him so much that it's not funny. Sometimes now I understand my friend's attitude. She at one point got very pissed off with her long distance relationship because she was constantly thinking of her boyfriend who was a million miles away. I couldn't understand what she meant then, being merely a few months into a long distance relationship myself.
The deal apparently is that you love someone, so you want to be with them. But it's logistically and practically impossible so instead you spend your time thinking about them. Then you find your life is going great except for this one thorn, that you're not with them. Then you wonder why you should spend so much time and energy feeling stressed about something that you really cannot control when you could use that energy more productively in your work or in meeting new people or doing new stuff. Then you feel angry with yourself because you do love this someone. This friend of mine recently got married to her someone.... under circumstances that I find interesting. When they finally got married, she was at the stage where she could take it or leave it. He was probably worried that she was going to leave it, so they wed.
Me? I've never been able to leave it. There will undoubtedly be some things that will break the relationship, but not so far. Sometimes I'm not sure whether that's because when we began we went very far very fast and I didn't want to believe that it was all for nothing or because I genuinely don't want anybody else.
I must say, SO is a wonderful person. He's really one of the best men I know and I know that it would be almost impossible to find someone as wonderful as him again. And in all the time we've been together, we know each other pretty well and like each other rather a lot. Sure there are things that grate and irritate, but nothing too dramatic. But if I wanted to, I could create the image of perfect unhappiness in my mind. Somehow, a similar image of perfect happiness doesn't exist. I guess this is one of the first things I need to do. I need to remember all the good times and make sure that whenever I get upset that he's not around, I focus on what we'll have when he is around.
One of the first things I'd done when we started seeing each other was to send him an e-card. He was, at that point, silly enough to show it to someone else (she happened to be one of my best friends as well, but that's not the point), but it thoroughly expressed the way I feel when I'm around him. Warm and fuzzy. Nice and gooey. When I met him and started liking him, I knew that he was right for me because he'd be able to stand up to me. All my life when I thought about 'the man in my life' I thought that he would be upto my 'fighting weight'. There were other guys that seemed interested but compared to me they were flyweights. Not just in physical structure but in personality.
My friends and I have that in common, we're all forceful personalities. We may not all be in your face, or attention seeking, but we're all strong willed and of independent opinions. That's probably what keeps us talking to each other, i.e. that we're not all talking about our husbands and our houses and stuff. Not that we don't talk about that stuff, but our interactions are about anything and everything and our general consensus is that marriage isn't the by all and end all of a woman's life.
But coming back to the point, one of the things I really like about SO is that he knows his own mind and stands firm for what he wants. I've thought this before as well and known that often this means that I've to give up on something that I really want, but as I said, this is something I like about him. It also means that when he thinks I'm in the right, he'll stand up for me. It also means that he'll tell me when he thinks I'm wrong. So far there haven't been many instances of situations when he thinks I'm wrong and I think I'm perfectly right. A few perhaps, but not endless. Not so many that I'd think we're totally unsuited.
So, apparently I'm bats. I spook easy I guess. One bad fight, a few days of feeling distant and I'm all ready to lift anchor and toss myself into the sea. I do love him, just that sometimes all this distance is hard. Also, not knowing when I'll be able to meet him or how .... exclusive ... the meeting will be is not easy. I guess I need more pictures of him. Which I have online and have no excuse for not having on my machine. I'm a baaad girl.
The deal apparently is that you love someone, so you want to be with them. But it's logistically and practically impossible so instead you spend your time thinking about them. Then you find your life is going great except for this one thorn, that you're not with them. Then you wonder why you should spend so much time and energy feeling stressed about something that you really cannot control when you could use that energy more productively in your work or in meeting new people or doing new stuff. Then you feel angry with yourself because you do love this someone. This friend of mine recently got married to her someone.... under circumstances that I find interesting. When they finally got married, she was at the stage where she could take it or leave it. He was probably worried that she was going to leave it, so they wed.
Me? I've never been able to leave it. There will undoubtedly be some things that will break the relationship, but not so far. Sometimes I'm not sure whether that's because when we began we went very far very fast and I didn't want to believe that it was all for nothing or because I genuinely don't want anybody else.
I must say, SO is a wonderful person. He's really one of the best men I know and I know that it would be almost impossible to find someone as wonderful as him again. And in all the time we've been together, we know each other pretty well and like each other rather a lot. Sure there are things that grate and irritate, but nothing too dramatic. But if I wanted to, I could create the image of perfect unhappiness in my mind. Somehow, a similar image of perfect happiness doesn't exist. I guess this is one of the first things I need to do. I need to remember all the good times and make sure that whenever I get upset that he's not around, I focus on what we'll have when he is around.
One of the first things I'd done when we started seeing each other was to send him an e-card. He was, at that point, silly enough to show it to someone else (she happened to be one of my best friends as well, but that's not the point), but it thoroughly expressed the way I feel when I'm around him. Warm and fuzzy. Nice and gooey. When I met him and started liking him, I knew that he was right for me because he'd be able to stand up to me. All my life when I thought about 'the man in my life' I thought that he would be upto my 'fighting weight'. There were other guys that seemed interested but compared to me they were flyweights. Not just in physical structure but in personality.
My friends and I have that in common, we're all forceful personalities. We may not all be in your face, or attention seeking, but we're all strong willed and of independent opinions. That's probably what keeps us talking to each other, i.e. that we're not all talking about our husbands and our houses and stuff. Not that we don't talk about that stuff, but our interactions are about anything and everything and our general consensus is that marriage isn't the by all and end all of a woman's life.
But coming back to the point, one of the things I really like about SO is that he knows his own mind and stands firm for what he wants. I've thought this before as well and known that often this means that I've to give up on something that I really want, but as I said, this is something I like about him. It also means that when he thinks I'm in the right, he'll stand up for me. It also means that he'll tell me when he thinks I'm wrong. So far there haven't been many instances of situations when he thinks I'm wrong and I think I'm perfectly right. A few perhaps, but not endless. Not so many that I'd think we're totally unsuited.
So, apparently I'm bats. I spook easy I guess. One bad fight, a few days of feeling distant and I'm all ready to lift anchor and toss myself into the sea. I do love him, just that sometimes all this distance is hard. Also, not knowing when I'll be able to meet him or how .... exclusive ... the meeting will be is not easy. I guess I need more pictures of him. Which I have online and have no excuse for not having on my machine. I'm a baaad girl.
Monday, September 12, 2005
CRM
Now I understand why you would need trained professionals to manage relationships with customers. I am currently an extremely irate customer. I handed over a large sum of cash to what proclaimed to be the shop of my mobile services provider to have my account recharged. They said they would do so, they failed. They tried and failed, but failed nonetheless. So what did they do? Offer to refund. Much use that is to me, considering the main reason I went to them was because my lifestyle is such that during the week I don't find time for any housekeeping.
I spoke to various entities on Sunday and finally am almost harassing the woman to whom I paid the money because I need this done. What do they say? They'll try once more and then refund my money. I cannot go back to collect the money till Saturday next, will have no money on my card till then and generally froth at the mouth till then! My balance is now so low that I cannot even recharge by sending an SMS. I think I'm switching back to postpaid as soon as I can... presumably next Saturday.
I spoke to various entities on Sunday and finally am almost harassing the woman to whom I paid the money because I need this done. What do they say? They'll try once more and then refund my money. I cannot go back to collect the money till Saturday next, will have no money on my card till then and generally froth at the mouth till then! My balance is now so low that I cannot even recharge by sending an SMS. I think I'm switching back to postpaid as soon as I can... presumably next Saturday.
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