This week has been rather bad because of two late nights punctuated by strange hypocrisy. The weekend before was a bit worse because I spent a lot of money on sub-standard beautification treatments and missed out on meeting the family on a whole. Just as I was mentally making a list of things to be done this weekend, I got an email from my mother about how my parents only get to see me once a month. And work is sitting around because I'm very tired and sleepy so I decided to get it all out of my system.
Things to do:
1. Meet grandmother.
2. Call uncle in Madras.
3. Meet parents.
4. File Tax Returns for last year.
5. Finish the process for fellowship which was completed in August 2005.
6. Clean parts of house.
7. Wash clothes (in machine).
8. Practice saxophone.
9. Wash vessels.
10. Continue knitting sweater.
11. Buy vegetables.
12. Cook.
13. Iron.
It doesn't seem so bad but this is what needs to be done outside work and therefore can only be done on weekends. Also, on weekends I need to catch up on the sleep I miss during the week. So on an average I manage to do 6, 7, 9, 11, 12 and 13. Then if I meet a friend or two, the weekend's gone and I've not met family at all. And my parents stay in the middle of nowhere off some really terrible road. And they fight so much and are so generally depressing that when I do see them I just get more depressed. Do I dare tell them that? Not a chance in hell. When SO's around, it's much easier cause he's nice to them and I can relax a bit.
I guess it's all about perspective. I can't keep everybody happy and I have admitted that to myself. Currently my parents are well and able to take care of themselves. I do feel guilty but as their child, I don't believe it's my responsiblity to see that they are entertained. Currently I've to build my own life and future. I guess I can explain myself to anybody else but my parents. I'm not the most affectionate child but I'd like to believe that I'm dutiful. Then from time to time I slip up on the duties and feel bad.
I'd love to be one of those super organised people who can make timetables and stick to them thoroughly. I would love to be able to schedule my life and frankly, there is a rough schedule. Wake up, come to work, work, go home, eat, sleep. I guess I believe in broad flexible patterns rather than rigid micro-management.
Fortunately next week is very relaxed cause I've 2 days off at the end of the week and I've taken Wednesday off as SO will be here. this means that this weekend will be a little more chilled on the cooking and cleaning and ironing front. Besides there won't be any friend meetings so parents or at least grand mother should feature. And hopefully I'll get 4 and 5 done as well.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Monday, January 02, 2006
Happy New Year!!
And here we are, in the early stages of another year. Just as we were, one year ago. A whole year of opportunities, many of which will go unnoticed, some of which will be wasted, and the rest of which, hopefully, will be made the most of.
Last year had its fair share of those for me. Job opportunities that I didn't look for, job opportunities which weren't properly followed up... and general life type things. The year itself was great. I did a lot of stuff that I'd never have done at home, watch an F1 race and see Sting live. Now, I feel that I want to visit on F1 race a year.
Personally the year was rather messy but seems to have resolved itself. In all these years, there's never been one in which I knew I would not get married. When I was younger it wasn't a formed thought. I didn't think at the start of the year that I won't be married this year. As I look back I realise that most of those years I didn't want to get married. But from 2003 I've been wanting to get formally engaged and married. I hoped that 2004 would be the year but when it didn't seem like it I went to study. Then I hoped 2005 would be the year and it was quite traumatic that it wasn't. I know right now that 2006 will definitely not be the year and... it feels quite fine.
It appears that 2006 will be the year of me. I get to do exactly what I want, when I want and not worry about much else. Naturally all this 'my way' will be tempered by my job, but personally, there's nothing I'm working towards. Is that good? I sure hope so :)
Last year had its fair share of those for me. Job opportunities that I didn't look for, job opportunities which weren't properly followed up... and general life type things. The year itself was great. I did a lot of stuff that I'd never have done at home, watch an F1 race and see Sting live. Now, I feel that I want to visit on F1 race a year.
Personally the year was rather messy but seems to have resolved itself. In all these years, there's never been one in which I knew I would not get married. When I was younger it wasn't a formed thought. I didn't think at the start of the year that I won't be married this year. As I look back I realise that most of those years I didn't want to get married. But from 2003 I've been wanting to get formally engaged and married. I hoped that 2004 would be the year but when it didn't seem like it I went to study. Then I hoped 2005 would be the year and it was quite traumatic that it wasn't. I know right now that 2006 will definitely not be the year and... it feels quite fine.
It appears that 2006 will be the year of me. I get to do exactly what I want, when I want and not worry about much else. Naturally all this 'my way' will be tempered by my job, but personally, there's nothing I'm working towards. Is that good? I sure hope so :)
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