Life...

So, my period did arrive and clearly I'm not pregnant. What I am though, is remarkably calm. Last week was not a lot of fun, but it ended well. Well-ish I would say. Friday was a lot of fun. Saturday was - stressful as I had a lot of rushing around to do. Sunday was relaxed.

And here I am. At work, knowing what i need to do and not afraid of any of it. But I'm amazed by how much things... work out. I've been working very hard and need a vacation. I wanted a couple of days off to just relax. But then I saw this program on TV of a riding school that has camps for children. I asked them if they have camps for adults, and they do! So if I can do that for a few days, I know it'll be perfect!

I'm excited about it as it combines two things that I really enjoy - relaxation with horses! I hope it works out! SO may not be with me, but I think it will be fine. It's near where his parents' house is. So he can come along for the weekend and we can return together.

I'm very thankful for my life!

Aaaargh!

So i took a test today and failed it. Now I'm just pissed off. I've had a bunch of symptoms which are not normal PMS things for me. And yet, here I am, failing tests! It's just wrong!

I'm going out for a short walk, to spend some money and get some bank work done. Maybe my period will arrive, to complete the shittyness of of all!

Save Me!

I'm going insane trying to figure out whether I'm PMSsing crazily or I'm .... well... i don't want to say it in case i jinx it.

Today, the breasts are feeling better, but the moodiness is more. there are some gross issues - like gas, leading to constipation? not really constipation - just difficulty.

I'm feeling tired/sleepy - but i always feel sleepy! I'm also feeling thirsty - but it's summer!!

I read someone else say on a board "I hate pregnancy, the symptoms are so 'everyday'" I totally second this!

Irritating!!

So, we decided that we've been married long enough, we should think about children. This was last year in May. As per the plan, I was going to get healthier between May and November and begin trying in earnest in November. The archives have a post from October, when I though I might be pregnant... Then I started working like a bit of a maniac. Right through till March. Around that time, SO also travelled (Feb to March). So our earliest bet was April.

In April, I did some bodily research and think I got the timing right. It was last week. From Saturday, I've been feeling the following:

1. Crabby - have violent mood-swings with things upsetting me much more than they normally would.
2. Painful breasts and nipples - TMI for some, but hey - nobody else reads this blog right?
3. I guess bloated? I feel full most of the time, don't realise that I'm hungry, can't eat too much.

Yesterday I had slight back pain - like I get with my period (again TMI I guess)

Today, I've a new one - fluttering in the lower abdomen. Not sure if it feels like period cramps or what. It's all rather confusing.

I'd like to believe that I'm pregnant - but what if I'm not? Apart from these, I see no symptoms. No food cravings or aversions, no fatigue (though I'd certainly like to sleep), no nausea, no bleeding.

I'd like to tell someone other than SO that this is going on - just cause I'm very excited. He's excited - but much more cautious. Doesn't want to get too hopeful in case I'm wrong. If I'm wrong, I've a lot to worry about. This is rather kick-ass PMS!

Shammi Kappor and Mohammad Rafi

Have a lot to answer for! I grew up listening to Mohammad Rafi and spent significant amounts of time watching Shammi Kappor movies. All romantic, with intensely romantic songs. Small wonder that I'm incurable!