I'm back home now, back in my city, my office... I'm adjusting in some ways and being difficult in others. I thought that I'd explained enough to the SO, and I have in parts and have not in parts. I am though, sure that I'm not going to leave him. It's not like I don't want to from time to time, but that I feel this is an important part of my life. He and his family are now an important part of my life and I don't think I have the inclination, energy or time to change that.
This realisation has made me believe that I must be more open about my issues, be more forthcoming about what I feel and why, so SO can decide what he wants to do about it. I think this approach is working well, because he now has more information about what it will take to make this work, and I am not feeling shut out or unimportant, because he's actively listening and responding.
This particular post though, is about love stories, the way they are in romance novels. I'm a romantic, was and probably always will be. Which means that I like a certain kind of man, the hero of a romance novel. I know that almost all romance novels are written by women, so there are no men like that, but I found this - http://juliagrey.wordpress.com/contributors-stories/ten-ways-to-be-a-lover-a-man-looks-at-romance-novels/ and it's spot on! Some of the 'characteristics' of a romantic novel hero include being super rich and good at everything, and having good genes (tall, dark and handsome) is obviously fictitious, and some of the behaviour advice, while in keeping with the genre, is just misogynistic (touch early and often) but some stuff is accurate for me.
In short, I would like my man to think only of me. Obviously not all the time, but from time to time I'd like to know that I'm the only thing on his mind, or at least that I am on his mind from time to time. I'd also like him to be the best I've ever had, and to declare himself repeatedly and often. I'm learning how to be more secure in myself, but that apart, I think in a relationship, I'd like to know that my significant other values me. For now, the message seems to be getting through, which bodes well for 2013.
I think i will have the love story I want, eventually. And when I tell it then, it will be with a relationship of long standing and a true life-partner. A worthwhile life and love story.
This realisation has made me believe that I must be more open about my issues, be more forthcoming about what I feel and why, so SO can decide what he wants to do about it. I think this approach is working well, because he now has more information about what it will take to make this work, and I am not feeling shut out or unimportant, because he's actively listening and responding.
This particular post though, is about love stories, the way they are in romance novels. I'm a romantic, was and probably always will be. Which means that I like a certain kind of man, the hero of a romance novel. I know that almost all romance novels are written by women, so there are no men like that, but I found this - http://juliagrey.wordpress.com/contributors-stories/ten-ways-to-be-a-lover-a-man-looks-at-romance-novels/ and it's spot on! Some of the 'characteristics' of a romantic novel hero include being super rich and good at everything, and having good genes (tall, dark and handsome) is obviously fictitious, and some of the behaviour advice, while in keeping with the genre, is just misogynistic (touch early and often) but some stuff is accurate for me.
In short, I would like my man to think only of me. Obviously not all the time, but from time to time I'd like to know that I'm the only thing on his mind, or at least that I am on his mind from time to time. I'd also like him to be the best I've ever had, and to declare himself repeatedly and often. I'm learning how to be more secure in myself, but that apart, I think in a relationship, I'd like to know that my significant other values me. For now, the message seems to be getting through, which bodes well for 2013.
I think i will have the love story I want, eventually. And when I tell it then, it will be with a relationship of long standing and a true life-partner. A worthwhile life and love story.
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