I can't tell if I'm too soft, but I'm weird. I cry easily, in a way that people that know me, both personally and professionally (apart from the SO) would not expect or even acknowledge. When I am with myself, when I'm fully me, hurt touches me deeply and the grave injustices of the world suggest that God is not kind or beautiful and certainly not all-loving. I've felt like this before, when my 30 year old cousin died from a brain aneurysm that a 30 year old had no business having. Leaving behind him a wife who was his college sweetheart who had to go through another marriage to get to him, and a 4 month old baby who is almost 4 now, growing up with words about her father instead of memories.
Today, thanks to Google's abilities to find something or the other in response to any search query, I found http://munchkinmom.blogspot.com/. A blog by a lady who was married to a man she loved and who loved her. Three children, two of whom were adopted, two with special needs, one with psychological issues that they were working with. The last post was in October 2011, talking about how the family scatterred the ashes of her husband. I read on to the time he died, a 46 year old man who died of a heart attack, suddenly one Saturday, while with his children. Then I went back to the last published post and noticed a list of comments. The blogger had herself, passed away 2 days after her last post, injured fatally in a freak road accident. At first, reading her blog, I cried for what she'd lost, and how simply she talked about her challenges. And how she was being a good person, choosing the 'right way' each time, every day, though it's a very difficult thing to do. And then I cried for the children. In 3 months, their world changed completely. From struggling with their issues with the support of two wonderful, loving, caring parents, they had to face the world themselves. They continued to have family, a grand parent and an aunt, and I hope they are doing well, but my heart goes out to them.
I can't tell what it is, but these ordinary cruelties of life are killing me these days.
Today, thanks to Google's abilities to find something or the other in response to any search query, I found http://munchkinmom.blogspot.com/. A blog by a lady who was married to a man she loved and who loved her. Three children, two of whom were adopted, two with special needs, one with psychological issues that they were working with. The last post was in October 2011, talking about how the family scatterred the ashes of her husband. I read on to the time he died, a 46 year old man who died of a heart attack, suddenly one Saturday, while with his children. Then I went back to the last published post and noticed a list of comments. The blogger had herself, passed away 2 days after her last post, injured fatally in a freak road accident. At first, reading her blog, I cried for what she'd lost, and how simply she talked about her challenges. And how she was being a good person, choosing the 'right way' each time, every day, though it's a very difficult thing to do. And then I cried for the children. In 3 months, their world changed completely. From struggling with their issues with the support of two wonderful, loving, caring parents, they had to face the world themselves. They continued to have family, a grand parent and an aunt, and I hope they are doing well, but my heart goes out to them.
I can't tell what it is, but these ordinary cruelties of life are killing me these days.
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