Professionalism

I think I blogged about this once before, years ago. A senior colleague was telling his super-boss, that someone who had left our organization, was being a thorn in the side of some senior executive. The senior executive was passing the pain along to this senior colleague. The super-boss said, 'don't fight with a pig, you'll both get dirty and the pig will enjoy it' and then said 'that was advice'. Very good advice I thought.

Through my working life, I've not encouraged gossip. For whatever reason, nobody tells me anything. I have friends in the office, people I hang out with during the work day, but not a single one tells me that 'x' is seeing 'y' or that someone said something about me or somebody else, etc. Ever. In about 9 years of working, that's pretty odd wouldn't you say? I wondered whether to feel left out. Now... I think it's better.

A friend has joined the organization that I work at and has had a very different experience. Given, she's a part of a team and I'm an individual contributor, but I'm still amazed at the situation she finds herself in in 4 months. She's so pissed off with one of her colleagues, that she's willing to tell anybody who'll listen, even people who are in the same team. Naturally they reciprocate very willingly, leading to this wonderfully unhealthy working situation. Sure, it's hard to work with a colleague who seems out to get you, but what's the solution? It's gotten to a stage where this other girl who has the same boss as me, asked me today to do something about it (tell our boss basically).

Instead I called my friend who vented majorly. Sure, there may be things that are upsetting, the other person's behaviour may not be appropriate, but surely there's a 'mature' way to handle this? Not bitching behind her back, even if she does the same? Not complaining about how she doesn't know how to act etc.? Sure, the other woman may be a perfect bitch herself, but we're back to the 'pig' story aren't we?

I think whatever else I may be, I maintain my equanimity. I may not want to, but I'll be damned if someone makes me lose my self control, in a professional interaction. I just thought about it some more, and I've had remarkably agressive interactions, I've been troubled, I've had my credibility questioned etc., but I managed to get through, get the job done and let that speak for me. I'm not perfect, but I'll ensure that people mainly say that I'm 'professional'. Something that my friend has not managed to do.

I'm trying to understand why I felt the urge to write this down, probably because she's my friend, and that had something to do with her getting the job. And now I've another friend considering whether she should join. The key difference between these two? The one who's only considering worked for a long time at a competitive office, where she had to deal with this kind of stuff regularly, and clearly managed. She has another minor advantage though, the woman who's causing the first friend trouble is changing roles, so should have very little left to do with this team at all.

The saddest thing? I have a great professional relationship with the 'trouble-maker'. I think she's smart and sensible. She's had bad luck with team members in the past, maybe that bad-luck is continuing, maybe she's finally met someone who's as competent as her, maybe she's insecure, I'm not sure what it is, but I am sure that it could have all been handled differently.