Turn Turn Turn

It's really strange. I want to blog about this but... I went for a wedding reception yesterday. The bride was my classmate in college, the groom two years my senior. The groom and I worked together at my first job. The groom was my first boyfriend. I had a half boyfriend before him, and he and I didn't last very long, just about a month... but there you have it.

I fell in love with him at some point, we went around shortly after that, and we broke up shortly after that. About 6 months afte we broke up, I started seeing SO. It's not the history of the relationship that I want to write about. It's about the guy I knew, and, due to pride... now know no longer.

Well, maybe pride is a harsh word, more like self-preservation. Even when he and I were seeing each other, he was seeing the girl he eventually married. They were not in any real relationship as they were in different cities and she was seeing someone else, but they were definitely emotionally engaged. One of the reasons I broke up with him. Yes, I broke up with him. Because I was (and am) a total romantic, and I could see that though he liked me very much, his love was reserved.

I've not met him in ages. I've not spoken to him in almost as long, but whenever we get around to talking, it's for hours. He was in some ways, the most gentle person I knew. Not in terms of thoughts or actions, but in general. He was accepting of anything. He had his bad points for sure, but I don't want to think about those for now. What struck me when I saw him yesterday was that my first boyfriend had got married to a woman he's loved for a long time :) Made me quite happy. And made me remember the time I spent with him.

That led me to the time when I met SO and fell in love and all of that. We've been together quite a while now and have quite a while to go, but it was nice to reminisce. It was so nice, in fact, that I was much nicer to SO than I normally am when he came back at some un-Godly hour and woke me up. But that's a different story...

Depressed and Scared

It's been a while since I've been in this situation. I've been here before and last time as well I was seriously depressed. I made a mistake at work. The fall out is limited as we sort of caught it in time. I'm also doing whatever damage control I can and my boss is being an absolute gem about this. However, the mistake was made, and it's my fault.

These are the times when being responsible really scares me. Normally I tend towards the right thing. Erring on the side of caution and all that. This one... has two points of view. It would even have been ok if I had considered the two points of view and subscribed to one. It's just that I missed the issue altogether. My mistake.

The problem with this is, I become very unmotivated about future work. I become scared of making another mistake. Then I end up overanalyzing everything, turning to my boss at all times etc. Not a very pleasant place to be in.

I know I'm handling the situation ok. I'm not running away, I'm taking responsibility, willing to face the flak, willing to do everything I can to fix this. But I'm still scared. The last time this happened, I worked myself out of my job. This time, I know I'm not going to do that. I'm going to stay and continue to do my job. I do know I'll never repeat this mistake, but I'm petrified of making another one.

More Serious Issues

I have strong views about abortion. It's odd, I'm not sure that my views relate to religion but... on deeper examination they probably do. When I was in college, I discovered the 'personal-political' situation. To me, it's where you have personal opinions that are actually based on some political views. You could say that it's purely personal, and nobody has a right to dispute/judge them. You could say this, but it is always important to realise that opinions are based on your view of the world, of what is right and wrong... and eventually, the information you are provided.

I chose abortion to talk about because my views on it formed very early. I realise that some part of this is because I went to a Catholic school but a large part is because I believe in re-incarnation. I find it fascinating that I do not believe in organized religion, but I'm deeply religious. I do not know what to do in temples and churches and the like, but God is very important to me. When I was quite young, I decided that souls do not get extinguished. I'm not sure why I decided this but it made sense to me that people are souls in bodies. Bodies die, souls go on. And souls are therefore reborn. Then when I thought about the time of rebirth... the 'quickening' seemed like an artificial point of time. 'Quickening' is the time that medicine decides that the foetus has an independent existence. This is a bit weird, cause though a day old foetus cannot survive on it's own, it is still another existence right? A whole different life. Therefore, to me, when conception occurs, life begins. And thereafter, to end that life is murder. Therefore, abortion is murder. But then there are other issues. Surely there must be some situations in which abortion is defensible? Sure there are, when other people do not believe what I do.

Basically, when I look at the issue of abortion, I can see how my personal opinion is advised by several religious and political issues. I believe that the fact that I can see this will enable me to participate in a discussion on the issue impartially. I know why I feel the way I do, and can see why others may not feel the same way. This means that I will not push my view as being the only 'right' view. I'd like to think that all the world needs is some sensitivity to the views of others... but does this mean there is no objective 'right'? Tough one :)

Marriage and Divorce

So two friends of mine are getting a divorce. From each other. They've known each other since they were 15/16 and were seeing each other when we were all in our early 20s. Now, he's 30 and she's 29. They got married 2 years ago, soon after she got out another marriage. Not very encouraging circumstances, but there you go. When I heard they were getting married I was horrified. I didn't think it made sense. Her coming out of a divorce that she hadn't initiated, him coming out of a break-up that wasn't pleasant. I didn't know her too well and knew him well. Didn't want to cause them any trouble so didn't voice any opinions. When we met up as a group, they seemed happy together. Quite in love and all that.

Two years they managed fairly well. He has a travelling job, she didn't want to travel when she should (though for a large part, she didn't have the option). They met whenever possible but she always seemed... not completely happy. He on the other hand, was always very upbeat about the situation. In retrospect, seems to me like she'd come out of one bad marriage and was very scared that she was in another bad marriage.

Last week they announced their divorce. Her without any reasons but with resignation and him with much angst. I was always a better friend of his, and will probably stay that way but it's so sad. She is unique. She defies definition, probably one of the best things about her. She lives life on her own terms and damns the consequences. She doesn't particularly care what other people (even her friends) think of her but does like having them around. I know that she's not happy to do this, but I also know that she was definitely more unhappy in the marriage.

It's almost horrific, I feel for them both, quite a bit. And then I worry about SO and me. We're very different from my friends, and in some ways, very similar to them. I'd like to believe that I'm independent and 'own terms'y but I know I'm not completely like that. SO is traditional like my friend and has the same 'we will make it work' conviction. But sometimes I wonder, what if it's just not working? You can keep trying and it will keep being broken. Do you pretend otherwise and continue? Or do you stop and say, lets stop wasting our time and get on with our lives?

Life is short, regrets are long. Living in a mistake will be the longest regret ever. I known in my mind that what they've done is the right thing. But facing the death of a relationship is not easy. Even if it's not your own relationship.

Bring on the 'Laws!

So now I'm a married woman. Not like my daily life has changed, but my weekly life may have some minor modifications. Like I will need to call SO's parents or talk to them when he calls. I will need to attend functions in SO's family etc. Normal family stuff, but not normal unmarried stuff. After spending a week with SO's family and getting to know them, I'm not worried about that part any more. There was a time when I worried that I would not be able to be a good daughter-in-law cause I no longer have the 'will to adjust'. But turns out that not only do I have it, I'm quite willing to demonstrate it. I'm not sure how much that had to do with it being SO's family. I would do as much for any friend's family and any set of elders. I guess at the end of the day, I'm happy that I'm still the nice person that I used to be. The person that I thought had changed.

I have changed though, the insecurities I had about SO 3 years ago are not the insecurities I have now. There was a time when I was sure that he would find someone that he loved more and therefore, would leave me. That's not it anymore. He may find someone else that he loves me, and he may leave me... but strangely, it doesn't worry me as much as it did. Now instead, the worries are about living harmoniously with someone who's quite different.

What I find weirdest about my reactions are the remarkable anti-climax of getting married. It's like now all hope is out of the window and it's SO for life. Not like I don't want that, but when he really pisses me off, I can no longer think of the knight in shining armour who will sweep me off my feet and away from the insensitivity of SO. Don't get me wrong, I do want to be with SO for life... but see what I mean by the anti-climax? Nothing changes after marriage and the things that irritated me before, continue to irritate me. Likewise for him I'm sure. And since we've been together for so long, there's no 'newlywed glow' either. But hey, that's the down side of knowing someone well before you marry them. It's quite funny, SO and I were staying with his relatives and he showed little inclination to do stuff with me, i.e. go for walks with me or go out when I was going out etc. It's normal for him and after he did it a couple of times, I stopped getting seriously upset. But not so his mother. There was a time when my father-in-law was going to the nearest town and asked me to go along, to see it. I promptly agreed and asked SO, who said no. Then when it got time to leave, he was patiently putting his shoes on. Upon careful and subtle questioning, turns out his mother commanded that he comes along as well :) I was quite amused.

So now, being a vetran of marriage, I'm all ready to meet the in-laws in their multitudes knowing that I will not disgrace them, my parents, or myself.

Stuck with You

So I think I finally have an answer to why love marriages are better than arranged marriages. Cause you've only yourself to blame if you're 'stuck with someone you don't love or even like'. Every girl I know (and I mostly know Indian girls) has faced the 'marriage' question from the minute she finishes studying. Several of them have found their own men and married them, but those that have not got married till quite late or not at all... get the 'arranged' treatment. They're educated and independent and yet worlds of parental pressure put them in this situation.

The situation of meeting guys and contemplating spending the rest of their lives with them. I think I've mentioned this before, but one friend of mine refused to meet guys because turning them down after meeting them would make it personal, whereas refusing the arranged marriage route is a matter of principal. She has unfortunately succumbed to meeting guys... and is now turning them down - personally.

And these are the girls who have the luxury of meeting guys at their own convenience. So for one of these, you probably have about 20 that meet guys at their parents schedule. And after meeting about 20-30 guys, you probably figure 'hey, he's seems nice, no BO, can't be all bad what?'

It's not very different for guys. One man I know who's a nice guy, not a stunner but a really nice person went through this. In his late 20s his mother (father had passed away a few years earlier) convinced him that it was time. He looked and he looked and found that he couldn't have a sane conversation with majority of them. After a while, he found one that he could talk to for more than 5 minutes and agreed to marry her. The enormity of what he'd done struck him shortly after the engagement. Now they're married and are the kind of couple that snipe at each other. Given their social context, divorce is almost out of the question. The only upside is no children yet.

You sometimes see arranged marriages that work out wonderfully and love marriages that fail horribly. I sometimes look at SO and wonder if it would have been easier with a guy from a more similar social background. But then I figure, a lot of it is about making an effort. You need to make that effort whatever the lead up to the marriage was. But with the 'love' part of it, at least some bond already exists.

Stuck on you as opposed to stuck with you?

Well did you evah!

Of late I've been reading more and more blogs. Hopping from one blog I like to a blog that person likes etc. Typically people write about themselves and their lives. And typically, their love life forms an important part of the blog. Be it Mommy Blogs which go on about their families or single women blogs that go on about their social lives.

I've hinted at it here and there but just to put it out there... I'm getting married in a few weeks. To SO, a man I've known for 6 years now. A man who is very different from me and quite different from what I believed I wanted in a man. Even now... sometimes it makes little sense that we are together. We don't really like the same stuff. We like movies, but different kinds, we like food but different kinds etc. Our tastes are different and our thoughts are different.

In these 6 years there have been times when I didn't know what was going on anymore. Heck, in the last 1 year there have been times when I didn't know what was going on. And yet, I'm getting married in less than a month. To SO.

When I was a kid, my mother used to sing a rhyme to me 'There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid.' Being a little girl with curly hair... I took it slightly to heart. But I was not horrid.

Sometimes I feel like SO and I are like that. When we're good, we're good. And when we're bad, I'm horrid. Sometimes the whole 'getting married' part freaks me out. I keep telling myself that it's actually exciting... but somehow. I guess a lot of it has to do with having a wedding in the 'form' that I really didn't want. I wanted to wear a simple saree, get a registered wedding and have lunch. I didn't want to do the 'bride' thing because I'm well past that point in my life.

Apparently weddings aren't about the bride and groom, they're about family. Sure, of course they are! But without the bride and groom, would you have a wedding I say? Would you? And doesn't it matter that the bride and groom are comfortable? Don't you want them to be smiling for joy and not out of compulsion?

I tell myself that it'll all be fine and that on that day I'll be the glowing bride without much trouble. I think it'll have a lot to do with how SO is around that time. I'm going to need a lot of support because I really do not want to do the religious thing. My relationship with God is quite special and has nothing to do with visiting temples or celebrating festivals. According to me, God has already witnessed my wedding with SO. This ceremony that we are putting on is for all the various people that want to attend something. So... I'm going to need SO looking at me going 'Yes, I know this is not what you want and I understand that you're being good about this.'

It's stupid and childish but apparently now I want brownie points for getting married like this! Kya Kool Hai Hum!

Right and ... Not Right

I'm not a very 'good' girl but somehow I find I'm very aware of my 'duty'. I don't do it most of the time but I'm definitely aware of it. At some level I may even say I have an exaggerated sense of duty. I know what my role as a daughter is. It's not to be subservient and obedient, but it is to be of support to my parents. I don't always do what they want but I try not to scare them too much. I try to make sure they don't worry about me too much and that they know they can call me whenever they need anything. I don't have a super-close, friends-friends, relationship, but I'm clear that they're my parents and I've a responsibility to them. After a bit of thought, I realise what I'm trying to say is that I see my filial duty is to do stuff to keep my parents happy while maintaining my identity.

And I'm ranting on because SO is refusing to visit his grand father, who just turned 80, because of ego. Maybe it's more than just ego. The visit involves spending the better part of the weekend travelling, by bus. I understand that it's uncomfortable and not something that you'd be jumping at. But it's something with low effort and high 'joy' potential. And I refuse to be an excuse.

Getting Lucky...

So this is one complicated post and if I get it all out in one shot, I'll be rather proud of myself. I've been reading the blog of a girl who's about 25. She's Indian and confesses to being sexually active. 25 is younger than me, but is it that much younger than me?

There was a time when I contemplated being sexually active, i.e. having sex with multiple partners and always thought that it woulnd't be an option for me. Body image issues. I've no idea what this girl looks like, but really that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that she mentioned at some point, thinking of how long it's been since she 'got lucky'.

Thinking about it, 'getting lucky' is a term usually used by guys right? Cause they're the ones that get sex when they're lucky. Otherwise they get themselves... (digression, Pink has apparently sung a song called 'You and Your Hand'). The construct always has been that the guy has to work rather hard to get sex. Even when he's in a committed relationship with the girl. That is, committed but not married. The movies, books and stories revolve around how he as to woo her so that he can kiss her, any making out requires more effort and whether he will have sex or not, depends purely on the girl, and therefore on luck. Cause who knows what will make her say yes. Right? Even in India, typically guys don't expect sex from dates. At least, the ones I've met don't.

So... wouldn't it just ber her option? To go out, see if she meets a nice guy and 'hookup'? There was a brief window of singledom after I had experienced physical intimacy with a guy. I think part of the reason why 'they' make virginity an issue is cause once you start, you don't want to stop :) Sex and being intimate are very enjoyable if done right. You're young, hormones are raging, you're in good shape physically (again, a factor of being young, not fit) and you're in love or at least attracted. So in this period of no-guyness, I contemplated random hook-ups. Going out, getting slightly high, hitting on someone and taking them home. See, even typing that out now scares me and I'm not quite sure why.

Maybe it's cause I'm a snob and when I was going out (back then), I didn't have too much money to spend. So the people that I could hook-up with, wouldn't have been the people I would want to end up with. Maybe that's the key, I'm frighteningly romantic and a hook-up would have been much more in my fevered brain. Though I would rationally know that it was just about sex, I would have guilted myself and the other person into believing it was much more. Maybe it's good that I was poor back then :)

But even now, when I can afford several things, the idea of a hook-up is not very appealing. I know what it's like to be with someone. To be able to snuggle up to someone and be held. It's a rather yummy feeling in a way that has nothing to do with sex. Maybe my angst is that the real aim was intimacy and not sex. And that's not something that usually arises out of hook-ups.

So net result? At least I know that I've finally gotten lucky :) Poor SO, doesn't know fully what he's getting into.

Lybrel

So, someone's made a pill which makes periods go away. And if you didn't know I was a girl before this, you certainly know now.

Yes, periods can go away completely. Sometimes I think it's great, sometimes not so much. The conflict is mainly because these are parts that work in crazy ways. And as several articles say, I too have a love-hate relationship with menstruation. I hate it's arrival, but I'm always glad that it does. Means that everything inside is working... more or less. If I could have it go away and still get pregnant when I want? Is that such a bad thing? See, I have my bad days each month, and sometimes I'm not sure if it's me or not. If something could make sure that I don't have any bad days that are not 'me', wouldn't it be a good thing?

Then I read this "Menstruation brings wisdom, she adds, and doesn’t get the reverence its due in our fast-paced society." Wisdom??? What kind of 'wisdom' does one get? That one is forced to bear discomfort for the privilege of being able to bear children?

I once read one of those 'men's rules' things which said 'how can you trust something that bleeds for 5 days but doesn't die?' I kind of agree. Now I know the science of it all, I know that several female mammals go through an estrous cycle... but to the unaware, it's weird right? It bleeds for 'x' amount of time. Then why doesn't it die? How weird it must be? But no, it's not weird... it's wisdom inducing!

And frankly, society is fast-paced. You don't get a time out for being a woman. If you mention your 'female problems' for time off... it's more likely that the interesting work will go to your male colleagues. You may even get questions about whether it's 'that time of month'. After all the hard work women do to make sure that their professional lives are not subject to their periods, I think it's just nasty to say that we shouldn't have the option of turning them off.

There are several reasons why I may choose not to, but my menstruation giving me 'wisdom' is not one of them!

A Charmed Life... or Strike One

I'm still slightly new at my job. I enjoy it quite a bit now and had, about two months ago, suddenly come into a lot of power. In my giddiness about the power, I had begun a process, two months ago that I thought was correct. The process looped back to me early this week. I was still convinced it was correct. Yesterday, I asked some others a question and was met with a 'hell no!'

I'd used this process once before... in grave error it now appears. So far, that one has had no ill consequences... yet. I'm thinking that now I will be much more circumspect. But of the other instance, which was much more serious... when I found the error of my ways, I contacted the relevant people and got the relevant information. I was anticipating a tough fight and some serious back-pedalling on my part.

Magically though, it just went away. I'm thinking that this is because I've got three strikes. I see this as Strike 1. I had stuff like this at past jobs as well... three strikes or get out of jail free cards. After that, jail starts looking more and more probable. So here I am. Thanking my lucky stars and hoping that my remaining chances will be sparingly used.

The important things

So... as I'd said, the challenge of 2007 is navigating new relationships. Increasingly, when new relationships emerge, old ones are tested. When you are faced with a whole new family, you understand what your family actually is. What it means to you, and what you mean to it. You realise that all the times when you've been the 'good' girl pay off when it's time for family to rise to your occasion.

And I begin to wonder, what is really important? The ties we are born with, we grow up and into. The ties we choose to make, what does it take to keep those strong? In the old times when people didn't choose their own lifemates, the ties were pretty much like family. Some slightly distant family connection that you grow into. Maybe it's slightly more complicated in that girls grow up muted in any case. So it's not like they were very vocal in their parent's house and had to ensure that they weren't too vocal in their in-laws place. They faded into one background, and then into the next... till they had their own children. Super cynical what?

But stepping out of the sepia... in this day and age, what does it take? At what point do you stop saying 'your family' 'my family'? Can you ever? What role does each 'partner' play to make sure that it's a smooth move?

Women and Cliques

I'm guessing it's not a 'woman' thing but it always appears to be that way to me. It has always appeared to me that boys are more laissez faire about groups. You can belong if you want to, you don't have to subscribe to some code, and they don't try to exclude. With girls and subsequently women... it's always seemed a bit complicated.

If you don't start the clique, you can only become a member if the majority want you and the 'owner' isn't opposed to you. If the owner likes you, you're in and fully a part of it. They invite you to all their meetings and invite your opinion on a lot of stuff. If the owner doesn't like you, you're a fringe member. Does it matter? Probably not to anything but ego. Just that people you genuinely like may be a part of that clique and you'll never be more than a fringe member.

Maybe I'm just being hypersensitive :)

Equality in Tennis

When I was in school we once had a 'debate' on whether men and women were equal. Then, one of my classmates made the point that women only play 3 sets in Tennis and men play 5. Little surprise that when Wimbledon (amongst other tennis tournaments) has decided to make prize money equal for men and women, that this argument arises again.

What I'm not sure about is, are women uncapable of playing 5 sets? Is that it? Or is it just that in the good old days of tennis, when people did other stuff apart from playing tennis, stamina was lower. For instance, nowadays, sportspeople train every single day. So I think a woman tennis player would be able to play a 5 set match. Whether it would have the same power and intensity as a men's game is different.

There were also arguments about advertising revenue, men's matches bring in more. Another argument was that women players also play doubles and make more money but all these are specious in this day an age.

Interestingly, none of the women players offered to play a 5 set match... is this because they don't want to or because they don't think they need to? They play by the rules and entertain the audiences as thoroughly as the men do... you have to agree if you've seen the 'Steffi will you marry me' video.

More interestingly in the world of Golf, Annika Sorensen tried to play in the PGA as opposed to the LPGA and gave up. She actually admitted defeat. So does that mean that differential prize money in Golf is fine but not in Tennis?

Strangely, I'm wracking my brain to think of another game that men and women play where the women are as famous as the men... maybe like Badminton, Squash, Table Tennis etc... Help?

Amazingly PdO!

See, I joined blogger because I believed that it was free and fun. Rediff had blogs but they got boring and were linked to an email account... and now Google's doing the same!

Why on earth should I link my public, anonymous blog with my personal email account? No reason, so I created an anonymous account that I will probably never use. I believe Gmail doesn't have an account time out process, so what the heck.

But what I really wanted to blog about was that there are reports that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are fighting because Brad was looking at pictures online of Jennifer Anniston's new nose! That's just wrong on sooo many levels! I mean hello!!!

So who do you think made the most money out of that story? The 'friend' that broke the story? I certainly hope so.

Wow, so if I become famous, will someone release a story of how my dog got jealous because I was looking at pictures of the dog that I almost bought?

Would you believe two more things?

One is the official Indian Oscar entry... the other was human greed. Can they get less related? They're not supposed to be related either.

Human greed I encounter every so often, but I encounter with amazing regularity from auto drivers. I'm not sure what it is, whether they receive some sort of training or they size people up and decide that some of us deserve to pay more. Every so often I feel like reading them the 'it's my money!' lecture and it's usually cause they ask some exorbitant amount for a trip. Typically I protest and some of them try to brazen it out, and others actually act like they're being honest. Or maybe they think they are being honest. Recently I was told that the guy's meter didn't work and wasn't what he was asking reasonable? I was too shocked to reason it out so didn't even respond to his request for a counter offer. Then I thought about it and figured I should have told him to check his meter and tell me the reading. Then when we got to the destination, he should tell me the reading again. Xkm into Rs. 6 per km is what I should have paid him. I got another auto though, who used the meter and got me to my destination without any fighting. Took only correct money, which was only half what the first auto driver wanted. It's the second sort of auto driver, who is also quite plentiful, that restores my faith in humanity.

I call this human greed because there's an attitude going around these days which is 'so what if I didn't earn it, you can affod it'.

About Rang De Basanti. Sure, it was a good movie, but if you think about it, it was rather silly, no? I felt for all the characters, quite a bit, till they decided to kill the dude. At that point they lost me. It grew rapidly more fantastic and I lost interest. Lagaan on the other hand was brilliant. But that wasn't the point. The point was that in 2006 there were several other Hindi movies that were great. For instance, my personal choice for an Oscar entry is Omkara. It is an India that foreigners would believe. It is a simple movie, a short movie, with relevant songs and good performances.

Even Lage Raho Munnabhai would have been a good entry. I've not seen the movie, but nobody has anything bad to say about it... except that the first one was funnier. In which case, the first one should have been entered :) But seriously, another movie with good performances and a moral.

Heck, they might even have nominated Dor! Nagesh Kukunoor has been in India making movies for almost a decade. His movies aren't brilliant, but they're definitely stirring. Besides he has that certain something. An Indian who tried America and returned home to make movies about the 'real' India. Don't tell me the committee won't love that!

So there you go, two more things!

Two things

One is serious and one is funny... so I'll start with the funny.

The new Lenovo ad for the face recognition feature has Saif come home all bearded and matted hair. His wife refuses to recognise him, but his computer does. If that isn't strange enough, he has a beard and matted hair, but his chest is still hair free :)

The other thing is the Cisco v. Mac iPhone debate. Cisco owns the iPhone trademark now as it bought the company that registered it. Recently Apple announced the launch of its iPhone. Now there will be some legal wrangling. If we accept the facts at face value, Cisco wins, cause it already owns the mark. But Apple (who's being a bit childish about this by calling Cisco's suit 'silly') has a series of 'i' products. The iBook and the iMac are older than the iPhone. If this case isn't settled out of court, the arguments will be interesting. In 2000, would 'iPhone' automatically have been associated with Apple? If it would, did the company that registered it do so because they wanted to sell the mark to Apple at some time? Does it matter?

It's interesting to think what can be done now... say I register trademarks like 'iClock' and 'iView' and some years down the line Apple decides to sell watches and sunglasses. Can I charge them? Would it matter if I didn't sell any products using these marks?

I'm intrigued... I may ponder on this some more.

What was it?

Ah yes... Happy New Year!

Another year is done and another set of experiences have been collected. Did I learn much? I'm not sure. I changed jobs but kept the friends. I'm in the same house... but will change it one way or the other. 2006 was... a year I guess. It wasn't as exciting as 2005, when I came back from studying and got a new job that I was excited about and when I met new people and made a lot of new friends.

The main highlights of 2006 for me are the various sometimes vicious fights I had with SO. In the five and something years that we've been together, I've fought with him a lot but something about the last few months was more horrible. I'm not sure what it is, maybe it's the distance. 2007 promises that the distance will end and hopefully that'll make all the trauma go away. Hopefully.

What is it with relationships? Maybe it's an Indian thing about 'nibhao'fying relationships. Living up to all the duties that each relationship entails. Friendships are easy that way, you decide what the duties are. Family ties are much more difficult. Finding a fine balance between what you want to do and what you need to do, unless you actually want to do what you need to. And then there's the family you choose. So do you decide what the duties there are? Or do you transplant the duties from your blood family and hope that the new one expects the same? Less is great, more... requires girding of the loins I guess.

I think that's what 2007 will be about for me. Charting and mapping new relationships and understanding what I need to do with them.