Getting Lucky...

So this is one complicated post and if I get it all out in one shot, I'll be rather proud of myself. I've been reading the blog of a girl who's about 25. She's Indian and confesses to being sexually active. 25 is younger than me, but is it that much younger than me?

There was a time when I contemplated being sexually active, i.e. having sex with multiple partners and always thought that it woulnd't be an option for me. Body image issues. I've no idea what this girl looks like, but really that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that she mentioned at some point, thinking of how long it's been since she 'got lucky'.

Thinking about it, 'getting lucky' is a term usually used by guys right? Cause they're the ones that get sex when they're lucky. Otherwise they get themselves... (digression, Pink has apparently sung a song called 'You and Your Hand'). The construct always has been that the guy has to work rather hard to get sex. Even when he's in a committed relationship with the girl. That is, committed but not married. The movies, books and stories revolve around how he as to woo her so that he can kiss her, any making out requires more effort and whether he will have sex or not, depends purely on the girl, and therefore on luck. Cause who knows what will make her say yes. Right? Even in India, typically guys don't expect sex from dates. At least, the ones I've met don't.

So... wouldn't it just ber her option? To go out, see if she meets a nice guy and 'hookup'? There was a brief window of singledom after I had experienced physical intimacy with a guy. I think part of the reason why 'they' make virginity an issue is cause once you start, you don't want to stop :) Sex and being intimate are very enjoyable if done right. You're young, hormones are raging, you're in good shape physically (again, a factor of being young, not fit) and you're in love or at least attracted. So in this period of no-guyness, I contemplated random hook-ups. Going out, getting slightly high, hitting on someone and taking them home. See, even typing that out now scares me and I'm not quite sure why.

Maybe it's cause I'm a snob and when I was going out (back then), I didn't have too much money to spend. So the people that I could hook-up with, wouldn't have been the people I would want to end up with. Maybe that's the key, I'm frighteningly romantic and a hook-up would have been much more in my fevered brain. Though I would rationally know that it was just about sex, I would have guilted myself and the other person into believing it was much more. Maybe it's good that I was poor back then :)

But even now, when I can afford several things, the idea of a hook-up is not very appealing. I know what it's like to be with someone. To be able to snuggle up to someone and be held. It's a rather yummy feeling in a way that has nothing to do with sex. Maybe my angst is that the real aim was intimacy and not sex. And that's not something that usually arises out of hook-ups.

So net result? At least I know that I've finally gotten lucky :) Poor SO, doesn't know fully what he's getting into.