Zindagi In Short

 I needed a place to write stuff, and remembered that I have had a place, for years! Thank you, place!

I watched part of an anthology on Netflix, called Zindagi in Short. They are mostly 'women-centric' short films, and I am irritated. The one that has irritated me the most so far, is one about a women who is married, in a sexually-abusive relationship, and is taken advantage of by another man. They show the second part as being romantic, fulfilling and 'good', but she says no, she fights back, and he 'overcomes her struggles'. This is still rape. There was no enthusiastic consent the first time, and therefore, it is rape. 

This got me thinking about these kinds of films, this is the male gaze, what men expect when they think of women and sex. How they think consent works. I am not saying women don't think like this, several do, which is also problematic. Some women think this is consent, but it is not. It is an idea sold to them by media in all forms, especially 'romantic' movies and books. The bullshit notion that somebody else knows what you want and need, and will give it to you, whether you want it or not.

The other 2 stories that I have watched are similarly superficial, so I'm not thrilled with this anthology. What I did note though, is that 2 out of the 3 I have seen, speak to the loneliness of this stage in a woman's life. Children grown, husband busy. What is the woman to do? 

I am in my middle-age now. I can see half my life ahead of me, I have a lot to look forward to, but what I can also see is the time when I will not be actively needed for what I am today. Though, because I can see it, I have plans for it. These women did not. I am not blaming them, they are characters in a story, and their writers did not. What did the women around me do? Find stuff to get involved in, build and manage their social circle, even if it is mainly each other. Support each other through menopause and getting to actual old-age. While those around me were related to each other, maybe I will be able to do this with my friends? For my friends?