It is a new year and I'm feeling new. I had a minor epiphany about work and understand a little better what I can do where I currently work, so that is good. Also, I suppose I've been treating my body well (would you believe, by exercising!?) and it is happy with me. Which means no random aches and pains and no joint wobbliness. Also, I find I'm happy with myself. Just, happy being me, happy to be alive. Feeling awesome!
Nothing has really changed, SO and I are still grappling with issues of progeny and busy-ness and my in-laws are visiting, but I'm not traumatised. Maybe I've shelved thinking about unresolvable issues, or accepted (at some deep level) that I'm not going to become a mother, but currently I'm revelling in being me.
A word though, about in-laws. I understand that my mother-in-law thinks she is helping by taking over kitchen duties, and, unlike last time, where I resented her doing things 'not my way', I'm now just redoing things the way I like. I've not offered to help, maybe next time. I think I've slightly realised that if she is insensitive to how I would feel about certain things, then she will also be insensitive to things I do that would upset me if done to me (like rewashing vessels I've washed). Seems to be working, maybe next time she'll actually relax enough to let me cook, though I'm not sure if that's a victory or not ;)
Nothing has really changed, SO and I are still grappling with issues of progeny and busy-ness and my in-laws are visiting, but I'm not traumatised. Maybe I've shelved thinking about unresolvable issues, or accepted (at some deep level) that I'm not going to become a mother, but currently I'm revelling in being me.
A word though, about in-laws. I understand that my mother-in-law thinks she is helping by taking over kitchen duties, and, unlike last time, where I resented her doing things 'not my way', I'm now just redoing things the way I like. I've not offered to help, maybe next time. I think I've slightly realised that if she is insensitive to how I would feel about certain things, then she will also be insensitive to things I do that would upset me if done to me (like rewashing vessels I've washed). Seems to be working, maybe next time she'll actually relax enough to let me cook, though I'm not sure if that's a victory or not ;)
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