I have mentioned before that when I begin to feel depressed about the state of things, I begin to day-dream. This only happens with my personal life, and has been something that I have done from adolescence, so I suppose it's more a habit or a pattern than something useful/meaningful. Today though, I was thinking about a perfect future with a gorgeous man (specifically Vidyut Jamwal) and I realised that difference between this perfect future and my current life is not the man, but the way the man makes me feel.
Why this? Because in all my day-dreaming of another man, the man is not perfect. He has his everyday faults, like he chews with his mouth open, or is short tempered, or leaves stuff lying around. But when he looks at me, his face shines with love. When he has an opportunity to touch me, he does. And in the extended version, he is as excited as me when we get pregnant and cries with me when we hug our baby.
Part of the challenge I think, is that I am a romantic, and maybe the right fit is for romantics to hang out with each other. Because non-romantics, or should we call them realists, don't understand what the fuss is about. The fuss is about the other person. Showing them regularly how special you think they are, and being made to feel special yourself, because the other person also thinks you're special.
I guess the reason I'm upset is because none of this is new, it's stuff that I have said repeatedly, so much that mentioning these things irritates the SO because I am nagging. And not mentioning them means that I have to think about Vidyut Jammwal...
Why this? Because in all my day-dreaming of another man, the man is not perfect. He has his everyday faults, like he chews with his mouth open, or is short tempered, or leaves stuff lying around. But when he looks at me, his face shines with love. When he has an opportunity to touch me, he does. And in the extended version, he is as excited as me when we get pregnant and cries with me when we hug our baby.
Part of the challenge I think, is that I am a romantic, and maybe the right fit is for romantics to hang out with each other. Because non-romantics, or should we call them realists, don't understand what the fuss is about. The fuss is about the other person. Showing them regularly how special you think they are, and being made to feel special yourself, because the other person also thinks you're special.
I guess the reason I'm upset is because none of this is new, it's stuff that I have said repeatedly, so much that mentioning these things irritates the SO because I am nagging. And not mentioning them means that I have to think about Vidyut Jammwal...
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