I'm working on a slightly newer me. the same person and personality, but fixing my external appearance to match what I feel inside. It started with a hair cut, which all viewers agree has shaved several years off my appearance. I'm working on exercise to make my body feel its true age, but I'll wait a while before I confirm the success of that program.
Maybe it's related, maybe it's the weather, but with this comes the feeling that I want to be 'in love' again. Falling in love is easy, it's fun and it's beautiful. Falling out of love... happens painlessly when you're not looking for a relationship. When you're in a relationship, or the relationship ends prematurely... I had to force myself out of love. It was very hard. It's not something I want to do again, fall out of love. Listening to the songs I listened to then, triggers the same responses, deep sadness at having to end something that was special, and had potential. That one, only had potential for me and not for the man I was with, so it had to end, but that didn't make it any easier.
Every so often, I fall in love with my husband again. Not because I've fallen out of love with him, but because he's changed a bit, or I've changed a bit, or because I've forgotten little bits of what he's like or something. Maybe it's also the weather, but now, I'm looking for my husband again - to fall in love once more, like trying to fight gravity on a planet that insists that love is like falling, and falling is like this (Ani DiFranco).
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