Happy Anniversary!

Today is our second anniversary! Last week we were on vacation with SO's parents and as SO's cousin was getting engaged in our city, they came here and stayed with us a couple of days. I learnt a lot of things about myself over the past week. That could be what this post is about, but only after I do some wishing.

The last post rambles a bit about the wedding, but not about the marriage. I want to say this about the marriage. I'm very happy in it. I'm now at a point where I love my husband very much, am very secure in his love and caring for/of me and enjoy our time and space together. I'm not sure what it is, but in the past year or so we've grown very close. Not necessarily in a mush way, but in the way that we want to share some stuff only with each other. That we are a little more sure of who the other person is and more secure in our comfort with each other. We've fought a lot less, undoubtedly because we're learning what the small stuff is that's not worth hurting each other over. And while I say we, I may just mean me :) Even if this is all just me, I'm really glad I'm at this place, and I'm going to try and remain here for a good amount of time.

I also realised that I'm an utter bitch! We live in the same city as my parents so SO's interactions with my folks are much more frequent than my interactions with his folks (though we speak on the phone weekly). Spending even 2-3 hours a months with someone is way different! I found a lot to make fun of, and when I was with SO, I didn't restrain myself! I think it irked him, if not outrightly upset him. I did apologise, but I know I've to watch myself.

This vacation wasn't the best. For one, I wasn't very keen on going as I'd just been on vacation in June (which was brilliant) and knew when I come back there will be a lot of stuff to take back. For another, SO's not the chatty sort, where his brother is. The last time we did a family vacation, SO's brother was there so I could relax a bit. For a third, the last family vacation did not include many temples (I'm not into organized religion).

Having said that, the engagement was brilliant. I find that I'm actually quite a part of this family. I know the people, I'm able to talk to them about stuff. I know the cousin will enough to give her moral support a bit. I was able to keep a couple of grandmothers entertained. It was work, but about as much as I do for the family I was born into. There are 2 weddings in SO's family and I realise that I'll be able to participate in those, the same way that I participate in weddings in my birth family. It's quite relieving.

Interestingly, SO's family and I don't speak the same language, but over the past 2 years, my comprehension skills have improved greatly. I'm still learning new words, but for the most part I follow conversations fluently.

We had an entertaining conversation on what parents look for in a prospective husband for their girl. SO's mom's view is that the guy must be of 'clean habits' and good character, as such a man will take good care of his wife. SO declared that he could be of both of these and still not take care of me, to which is parents replied that I don't need him to take care of me! :) I was rather entertained. I guess they also can see that I know my own mind and am well able to protect my interests.

What I didn't articulate is that for a spouse, that's not really enough. You need the sensitivity to know when your spouse is not comfortable with something your family is asking them to do, and the ability to head your family off. Alternately, you need to level with your spouse that you won't head them off, but you will sympathise and make it up in some other way. I think we're here. Both of us have this level of sensitivity and try to ensure the other person is as comfortable as possible in the circumstances.

Happy Anniversary dearest, and thank you.