Monday, December 08, 2008

Of Friendship and Death

It seems odd that in the aftermath of the horrendous 4 days in Mumbai, I'm talking of friendship. I guess the real advantages of an anonymous blog is that nobody knows who I am, so if I say a friend died in that episode, it doesn't matter to anybody but me.

The reasons I'm talking only of my friend are many, but the core is that while the insanity was unravelling in Mumbai, I was rather blase in Bangalore. I knew that some strange shit was going down in Mumbai, but what the heck, it's Mumbai right? Far away from me, etc. But wait a minute... suddenly I found out my friend died. So here's the scene, I'm Blase in Bangalore, I've another set of friends in the US. They're even more blase, because what the hey, Mumbai's soooo far away. But then our friend dies.

In some senses it feels like a play. We're all happy, hunky-dory living our lives and suddenly we hear this. I could write a school play, where one by one, several characters go on about what this particular individual meant to them. Some good friends, some acquaintances, some loved him, some hated him... all of which is true. But does this mean that we've reached a state where we only feel, when something touches us directly? So all this empathy that I thought I had is actually nothing?

Quite apart from that, my friend and I had this weird bond. He would keep in touch a lot. I would reciprocate but never initiate. For some time because the amount of attention I would get made me uncomfortable, for some time because he married a person I wasn't too fond off, for some time because he divorced her and the reason why made me wary of him. And now, he's not around anymore.

I guess in some way I want to say goodbye to him. To the person that he was, steadfast. I remember a lot of things about him, but I think this piece was paramount. My friend was steadfast. If he thought something was right, he would tolerate no less, and he would appreciate 'right-mindedness' in everyone, everywhere. I will miss him a lot.

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