Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Phoenix Squeaking

The urge to write has struck again. Oddly actually. Just a few days ago I was thinking that I've stopped writing. Partly due to not having anything to write about, partly due to not having an audience. But then, as usual, I need to write for self.

Last year was a nice roller coaster. This year promises to be much of the same. I think I did a New Year post at the beginning of 2007 but don't really want to visit it now. I know that life went on that year. I know that my job went on, went pretty well actually. I'm happy and confident and pretend to be overworked :) That's the best way to be, pretending to be overworked. I think in the past year, I came to terms with my work and my role. I didn't always want to do what I'm doing now... i.e. this profession. I wanted to be in a very different line when I was much younger. However, in 2007, I figured that I really enjoyed what I do, I'm good at it and with the right level of support, I can do a good job. I'm not a star, but I'm nice :)

That's my consolation for not being a genius. See, if I was a genius, I would be nasty, cause I woudn't have much patience with mere mortal's inability to understand. But being a mere mortal myself, I'm patient and nice. I guess a large part of my role, and my new job (new from November 2006) has been to understand a situation and communicate it clearly. The people I'm explaining to should ideally already know the situation but often don't. The ones that do are a pleasure to work with, we're all on the same side then. But the ones that don't fight the other side's battle first. It's a challenge to convince them, without getting hyper agressive. My new job has helped in this a lot, by providing me information. Now, I understand properly myself, and therefore can explain without too much stress.

On the personal front... I guess a lot happened. I got married, for one. Did that change anything? Not really. Having known SO for a bunch of years before we got married means that there's no real 'newlywed' time. But there is still a lot of adjustment regarding new family and stuff. Stuff that I honestly didn't think I'd need to deal with, but have managed reasonably well. Sometimes I'm not very interested in being a good girl, but I'm still not rude or nasty or even bad. Just a little less gracious than I would be otherwise.

At some level, I find it irritating being a daughter-in-law. Like I find it irritating to be a daughter. The 'duty' is a chafing leash, but one that's on for life. The Daughter Leash was one that I was born with, the Daughter-in-Law one, I chose. :) Serves me right what? It's not like there are some weird demands, just that there are demands, when I'm not ready for them or not in the best mood to deal with them. But still... duty right?

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