Blood and Relatives

I figure the closer they are, the more likely they are to make your blood boil. My parents were over today, with my brother who lives in the States. Something about seeing me and all the relatives/family friends in this area. It was going ok till my mother said something which set my blood steaming.

Over the years I've realised that I get intensely angry very fast but very few things get me that angry. My family though can set me off like a shot. SO is another one and with him the outcome is usually thorough as well.

So there we were, sitting in my flat and I brought up the removal of a piece of woodwork which my parents had installed when they bought this flat. They really like it and probably feel sentimental about it. All fine, but I live here now and the more I look at it, the less I want it. I just want a normal wall there, that I can paint any colour I want and hang stuff on etc. So again I brought it up and my mother's suggested that I remove the stuff that's inside it to see if I can really do without it. If I can, apparently 'it's a matter of a day's work to remove that and give me a wall'. Give me a wall???

I've been a hanger on, I agree. I've not appeared financially responsible and a lot of stuff like that but I'm getting much better at it. I find the more I discuss finances with my mother, the more it seems like I can't manage by myself. The sad thing is, this is their flat. I don't feel like making a change without their approval but when they say stuff like this, I just want to move. Right now I'm so angry that I'm planning to move out after I get married. Just leave this place to them and find a place that I can do almost what I want with.

Parents and children... they're completely unwilling to accept that we can move on with our lives, even move on without them. Sometimes I think that would be easier, but I know that I owe them a hell of a lot. I wish they wouldn't see it as buying a right to my life though...

I wish there was an easier way.